Victory for the Forces of Democratic Freedom!

Well, okay. There’s nothing intrinsically democratic about vegetarian cuisine. Egalitarian, maybe. Ethical, certainly. But democratic is a stretch. I was just going to go with “Victory!” but then the little David Foster Wallace in my head forced me to submit to his perverse will.

Back to the victory: two delicious meatless meals last week, both wild successes, neither eliciting any form of “this would be good with meat” commentary from Dorian. Unfortunately for you, gentle reader, we once again put this food in our bellies before the camera could climb out of its case. But no matter—curry isn’t the most attractive foodstuff in the world. Damn tasty though.

Before the curry, I made a zucchini taco filling from Rick Bayless’ Mexico: One Plate at a Time, which has been my kitchen bible for over a decade. Bayless’ tome is my Joy of Cooking, my Mastering the Art of French Cooking; it’s how I taught myself to cook. If I’d had the foresight, I could have blogged my way through it and scored a lucrative book deal. Except I had no particular desire to change my name. (To Ricki. For the blog. Ricki and Rick. Like Julie and Julia. Get it?)

And but so, I’ve made nearly everything in the Bayless book except these tacos, which I have oft eyed up but never had the courage to serve to my family. Zucchini? In a taco?? Blech. That’s what their faces said, anyway. But I finally did it, and I’ll have you know, it was freaking amazing. Dorian LOVED it, and begged me to make it for dinner again as soon as possible. Say it with me, people: VICTORY FOR THE FORCES OF DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM!

Zucchini Taco Filling
--Broil 2 poblanos 10 min or until black all over. Put them in a bowl covered with a kitchen towel for 10 min. Rub the blackened skins off and pull out the seeds and stem. Slice into ¼” strips.
--Saute 1 chopped onion in a little veggie oil until browned, 8 min.
--Add 2 cloves minced garlic; sauté 1 min.
--Add 1 small can crushed tomatoes (or 4 small tomatoes, pureed); reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and cook 5 min.
--Turn up heat to medium-high; add 3 zucchini, diced into ½” pieces, 1 C corn kernels, and poblano strips; add 3 T chopped cilantro, 2/3 C whipping cream, and 1 t salt. Sauté 8 min.
--Serve on warm corn tortillas with crumbled feta or queso fresco.

The second win of the week was this sweet, spicy, rich-but-healthy veggie curry from a deviation on a recipe found Cook’s Illustrated. I don’t want to impinge on their copyright (they guard those recipes very closely!), so I can’t give exact measurements here. But if you are a moderately adept cook, you’ll find great success in just throwing stuff in a Dutch oven and letting it simmer. Note that you can also change the veggies to suit your tastes.

Curry with Eggplant, Sweet Potato, and Green Beans
--Saute 2 chopped onions in a couple T veggie oil. Use a Dutch oven or large sauté pan.
--Add a large sweet potato, cut into ½” dice; sauté until potato and onion are browned.
--Add aromatics: a dollop of minced garlic, a couple dollops of curry powder, a sliced jalapeno, a dollop of garam masala, and some grated fresh ginger. Don’t fret; you really can’t screw this part up as far as amounts/ratios go. Saute 1 min, until fragrant.
--Add other veggies. I used a diced eggplant, a couple of handfuls of fresh green beans (cut into 1” lengths), and a can of chickpeas. Cauliflower would also be good. Stir around until veggies are coated with the spices.
--Throw in a small can of diced tomatoes (make sure you avoid the basil-flavored ones; I almost had a disgusting kitchen misstep because of these insidious bastards), a dollop of tomato paste, and about ½ C water, and cook over medium-low heat for about 20 min, or until the veggies are tender.
--Swirl in just a couple of tablespoons of heavy cream or coconut milk.

This was delicious by itself, but its yummy factor was amped up tremendously by the addition of some mango chutney and a Greek yogurt-cilantro-mint—grated cucumber-garlic mixture. And a generous squeeze of fresh lime.

This curry reheats exceptionally well, and so is ideal for a weekend meal with weekday leftovers. AND it takes about a tenth of the time that most curries require. AND it’s meatless (vegan, even, I think, if you use the coconut milk). AND it has no butter, unlike much Indian food. The only potential drawback is that my son couldn’t eat it; it was just too spicy for a kindergartner. Next time I might leave out the jalapeno, and grate it into the raita instead.

First and last and always

If you know me, you know that I heart tacos. <insert Forrest Gump-esque monologue on the myriad ways to prepare tacos here> They're a go-to meal for my family, because boring meat + boring veg + random shit left in the fridge = un-boring tacos, but when I want to gussie it up a bit but not expend much time or effort, I reach for one of two Rick Bayless recipes. This is one of them, my first foray into Bayless-dom, memorially-reconstructed from a long-ago cookbook-aisle trolling expedition at Border's, originally from (I think) Mexican Kitchen, and carries the distinction of being One of Two Ways I Will Voluntarily Eat Steak. Bonus: the sauce freezes really well, so make extra.

--Broil 6 tomatillos, 4 garlic until black and squishy

--Puree w/ cumin, salt, 2-3 chipotles

--Grill steak; slice into strips

--Grill or saute 1 bell pepper, 1 onion

--Combine meat, veg in pan; add sauce, 3 min

--Add 1 C beef broth; reduce, 8-10 min

--Serve on grilled corn tortillas

--Top with cheese, avocado, crema, lime, cilantro

One of the major perks of this recipe is that the leftovers--should you, for some unimaginable reason, not invoke the Taco Rule (1)--are fricking amazing the next day, with scrambled eggs and refritos. 

One of the major drawbacks of this recipe is that I always forget how easy they are to make. Dorian loves them, but Dorian loves any meal that is Difficulty: 10 / Messiness: 10 / Frugality: 0 / Time Consumption: 1,000,000. Ipso facto, I generally ignore his food requests. These steak tacos, however, are easy, cheap, and quick enough that I can make them after work. They require a single pan (2), one knife, one cutting board, and one cheese grater--though if I crumbled some queso fresco instead, I could excise that last bit. PLUS, the leftovers.

Remind me to make this more often.

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(1) Michelle, my personal food-blogging hero and the genius behind Thursday Night Smackdown, is responsible for codifying and recording the Taco Rule. Many of you probably already observe the Taco Rule, but didn't know how to formally recognize this fact. Michelle has kindly taken care of that for you here.

(2) To be extra lazy and environmentally un-friendly, I broil the tomatillos in a little pan I make of aluminum foil instead of using a broiler pan, which I own but which requires washing. Also, I cut up all the toppings and place them on paper towels instead of in photogenic Williams-Sonoma glass nesting bowls, which I also own but which also require washing. (3)

(3) This is why you will never, NEVER see a photograph of my mise en place. Should I ever post such a photo, you may be assured that it is A Lie, Contrived For The Benefit Of Dorian's Camera.

Saturday Review: Red Mesa

St. Pete-ians and Tampons alike looooooove their Red Mesa, the quasi-Mexican, quasi-fine dining restaurant nestled idiosyncratically between Applebees and Word of Beer on 4th Street. Critics and locals have showered praise on this place since it opened in 1996. My personal experiences with Red Mesa have been uneven, to say the least. The first three times I ate there, I was like, "meh." It was years before I returned--and only then because some friends made me.

Don't get me wrong--this IS going to turn into a positive review, and I've had some FAB food at Mesa. There was the Famous Fruit Mole of '02, which I still describe to my friends through tears of lingering ecstasy. I persist in lamenting (1) the loss of the Grilled Pork Chop Stuffed with Goat Cheese/Apple/Walnut in OMFG-That's-Good smoky tomato broth. The specials menu reliably taunts me with huitlacoche quesadillas (2), guacamole trios, and inventive ceviches. Shrimp and feta queso fundido is swoon-worthy.

Overall, though, Mesa--much like Nicole Kidman--does not live up to its rep. Anything that sounds like something on a typical Mexican restaurant menu (cheese enchiladas, chile rellenos, skirt steak tacos) proves simple and bland. The rice and black bean "congri" that accompanies damn near everything on the menu is just lame. Chunks of dry, fatty pork float in a greasy, bland chili verde sauce in one of the most popular (!) dishes, and chipotle shrimp are too spicy and flavorless (quite a feat) to do any justice to Mesa's customary prowess with the smoky (3) chiles.

If you work for Red Mesa and are reading this, I swear to you that The Praise Begins Now.

Where Mesa really shines is at Sunday brunch. Typically a restaurant's throw away service, brunch here plays to the kitchen's strengths--every egg dish is accompanied by two or three of those genius salsas, with varying heat levels, textures, and flavor profiles, and there are enough choices on the menu to satisfy the hungover hipsters, their discerning children, and the wealthy oldsters who cram into the booths and freeze their asses off. (4)

Typically, I waffle between the Migas (fluffy eggs scrambled around strips of crunchy poblano peppers, caramelized onions, and crisp tortillas, served with a brothy, smoky salsa and so-so refried beans) and the Shrimp and Grits--different from anything you'll find in South Carolina's Low Country, but the best I've ever had. This morning, I chose the latter, and they arrived pitch-perfect, as usual: plump, unbelievably sweet shrimp doused in a creamy chipotle sauce with more of those poblano and onion rajas, soaking into a volcano of velvety grits. They thoughtfully sprinkle on some sliced scallions, adding crunch and verve, and a shredded aged cheese of such deliciousness that I can hardly stop salivating long enough to describe it. (5)

Other winning dishes: chilaquiles roja, which confirms my suspicion that Red Mesa should just soak shit in salsa and bringitrightheretomytableNOW, huevos rancheros (more sophisticated than usual and all the better for it), and guava-stuffed French toast. Also, their fruit salad is dressed with a lime syrup that's even yummier because it cancels out any potential fruit-related health benefits. Burritos are more filling than they look. Potato-chorizo hash sounds better than it is (which kills me, because potatoes + chorizo = my happy place). Coffee is strong and delicious, and their kids' menu is brief (a good thing), healthy, and reasonably priced--and it's not patronizing: the tots get the same spicy sausage as their taller dining companions.

Did I mention that it's ridiculously cheap? On a Friday night, our bill for 2 has never been less than $60; after a brunch-for-three so big we're on hammocks for the better part of the afternoon, the receipt freaks me out with its $24 bottom line.

Service is always spot on at Red Mesa, even at brunch when servers at lesser establishments are often hungover and angry about having to be perky at 9 am while a bunch of noisy kids grind strawberries into the carpet.

If you've been disappointed with Red Mesa in the past (I'm looking at you, Lemdrichs), try again on a Sunday. If you've never been, start with brunch...and maybe end there, too. For dinner, I'd recommend gettin' yer fancy shoes on, hiring a babysitter, and braving the scene at their hipper downtown spot, Red Mesa Cantina. Their drinks are strong, their tacos are cheap, and the crowd will make it easy to pretend you're still cool.

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What, you don't like footnotes? Too bad--I'm an academic. Suck it.

(1) Along with the server who has an uncanny knack for getting our table every single time. Which reminds me: a testament to Red Mesa's Doing Something Right is the insane degree of server loyalty. There are about five servers whom I see every time we go in there, be it a Friday night, a Wednesday lunch, or a Sunday morning. They've been there ten years, at least. That's unheard of in this fickle town.


(2) Holy crap, these were good. WHY ARE WE NOT EATING MORE CORN FUNGUS, AMERICA??

(3) How many times am I going to use the word "smoky" in this post? Only 3. But I should use it more, because Red Mesa's smoky is the most epic and craveable smoky in town. (Oh, look--that's 5. Boo-yah.)

(4) I'm serious: bring a sweater.

(5) Come to think of it, next to salsas, cheese may be Red Mesa's biggest win. There must be 7 or 8 "garnish" cheeses in that kitchen, and they shred/grate/crumble/melt each one onto its ideal partner EVERY SINGLE TIME. Even on the humblest of Mesa plates, I've never been disappointed by the cheese.